synopsis:

In this novel Yukio Mishima examines the struggle for acceptance by a man living outside of the socially accepted norms. A motif that strongly pervades this novel is death and the images of blood associated with it. Kochan, a Japanese adolescent living in post-war Japan, struggles with his homosexuality and his desire to be 'normal'. In order to survive, he must hide behind a mask of propriety.

At a young age, Kochan shows signs of being attracted to male beauty. Initially, his attraction to men is confused with a desire to be like them. When he first begins to appreciate male beauty, he develops an affinity for blood and death. This association may have been made subconsciously, acknowledging the negative portrayal of homosexuality in his society.

Kochanís favorite picture is a reproduction of Guido Reni's 'St. Sebastian'. This picture later influences the nature of his daydreams. It depicts an almost completely naked youth tied to a tree with his hands tied above his head. Two arrows pierce his left armpit and his right side. This picture has such a profound effect on Kochan that it leads to his first ejaculation.

After seeing a troop of soldiers pass by his house as a child, he begins to glorify war and death, especially his own. His weapons of choice are primitive and savage: arrows, daggers, and spears. He frequently envisions scenes in which men are brutally stabbed in the stomach, leading to slow and agonizing deaths - the true marker of beauty. As a child Kochan and his friends play war games. During many of them he dramatically acts out his own death with delight.

Throughout Kochan's childhood, he is confused by his homosexual feelings and continuously tries to arouse his sexual desires from female beauty. he ultimately finds them to be futile and untrue and His struggle to be accepted into society ultimately leads to self-hatred. this self-suppressing limitation forces him to wear a mask, disguising both his desires and emotions.

on this book:

'confessions of a mask' is mishima's first major work. this largely autobiographical work reflected Mishima's masochistic fantasies. His preoccupation with the body, its beauty and degeneration, marked several of his later novels. Mishima wished to create for himself a perfect body that age could not make ugly. He started body building in 1955 and he also became an expert in the martial arts of karate and kendo. Perhaps preparing for his death, Mishima liked to pose in photographs as a drowned shipwrecked sailor, St. Sebastian shot death with arrows, or a samurai committing ritual suicide.this book is seen as one of the seminal pieces of twentieth century gay literature.